Every now and then...

[kukla_red]

... I wish that I could share some things with my ex.  I know it isn't possible.  He's a dick and he always will be.  He was abusive, violent and horrible and everyday I thank the powers that be that I no longer have to clench my gut at the sound of his car in the driveway.  We've been divorced for over 6 years and life is infinitely better than I ever though possible.

And yet...

We are the parents of 2 amazing people.  Both of them have now been accepted to college and will be starting in the fall.  My daughter has a stellar school record, honor roll every semester she's been in school, accepted to and received offers of 50%+ scholarships at every school she applied to and she's a talented writer, singer and actress as well.  My son is a warm, wonderful, generous soul who has struggled to overcome some learning disabilities and has found his niche in life.  They are both terrific humans and I am endlessly proud of them.  And while I have a wonderful partner now who shares my joy at their success and is very proud of them as well, there is a small part of me that still wishes I could pick up the phone and call their father and crow with him a little about how great the kids turned out and isn't it amazing that those little people we brought home from the hospital have become so mature and adult.

But sadly that is a conversation that will never happen.  He cannot get over his bitterness about the divorce, his hatred and blind insane wish to blame me for everything that has ever gone wrong in his life.  He almost lost the kids completely because of this and he is still on thin ice with them.

In the midst of my joy at how life is turning out now, this still causes a dark shadow occasionally.

Comments

[cazul-blue.livejournal.com]

I totally get this...

[fried-pearl.livejournal.com]

It is too bad his continued bitterness prevents him from enjoying one of the greatest pleasures of parenthood - basking in your child's successes.

[supermatt41.livejournal.com]

He's missing out, both with his kids and with his opportunity to be proud with you about your creations. Totally his loss.

[mystical_journey]

It's too bad your Ex wound up to have such a terrible attitude and mean disposition. He's missing out on the wonderful experience of being a parent and in the long run, will pay dearly for it.

[zagella.livejournal.com]

I can completely understand what you're saying ... it's such a shame.

[proseofasparrow.livejournal.com]

You're right. He would never let you have that conversation. Or he'd ruin it by making some crack about it being all his doing. *sigh*

[bibliovixen.livejournal.com]

The only reason I don't feel this toward my daughter's father is that he wouldn't recognize a good human from three paces away.