A day of reflection... in my own way
Sep. 28th, 2009 10:17 amToday is Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of Atonement and contemplation. I'm hardly the best or most observant Jew around, so I handle this according to my personal code. I can't fast because that road leads straight to a migraine, which I seriously do NOT want. Believe me, you don't want me with a migraine either. It's downright scary. I don't go to a synagogue for various reasons. I used to belong to one and I really enjoyed going to weekly services and celebrating the High Holy Days with my fellow congregants. But the politics and backbiting crept in - as it usually does - and I felt that I could no long participate. But I will not go to work on this day unless I am in danger of losing my job. It is the highest of the holy days and I just can't do it. So I stay home, putter around and contemplate my life.
This has been a very momentous year. Sarah finishing high school, graduating and going off to UVM. Aaron getting a serious girl friend, finally starting to develop into a real adult and finding his niche at Champlain College. Me making a big, scary change by leaving my secure but sometimes aggravating law firm job to join another vendor company, hopefully with more success than past ventures into the "dark side". So far, so good on that score. David and I becoming "empty nesters" and seeing what our future will be like now that the kids are not ever present. We've recommitted to each other more deeply and we're making plans for our eventual escape to Vermont on a permanent basis.
Today is also Aaron's 21st birthday, a momentous occasion in its own right. I can remember the day of his birth so clearly - it doesn't seem possible that it was 21 years ago. I had a very rough time with the pregnancy and the delivery was no different. He was 12 days overdue and when I finally did go into labor it was not productive. He didn't fit down the chute so the doctor called for an emergency C section and they went in and got him. When it was all over and the nurse placed him in my arms, I said "So you are the one who has been kicking me all this time!" I also could tell immediately that he was a lefty. He was beautiful, perfect and amazing.
My marriage completely sucked and sometimes I think I knew that going into my wedding day. But I think I was meant to have these 2 children and that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't married my ex. So be it. It was worth it.
Happy Birthday, Aaron!
Aaron and Sarah at his dorm in September.
This has been a very momentous year. Sarah finishing high school, graduating and going off to UVM. Aaron getting a serious girl friend, finally starting to develop into a real adult and finding his niche at Champlain College. Me making a big, scary change by leaving my secure but sometimes aggravating law firm job to join another vendor company, hopefully with more success than past ventures into the "dark side". So far, so good on that score. David and I becoming "empty nesters" and seeing what our future will be like now that the kids are not ever present. We've recommitted to each other more deeply and we're making plans for our eventual escape to Vermont on a permanent basis.
Today is also Aaron's 21st birthday, a momentous occasion in its own right. I can remember the day of his birth so clearly - it doesn't seem possible that it was 21 years ago. I had a very rough time with the pregnancy and the delivery was no different. He was 12 days overdue and when I finally did go into labor it was not productive. He didn't fit down the chute so the doctor called for an emergency C section and they went in and got him. When it was all over and the nurse placed him in my arms, I said "So you are the one who has been kicking me all this time!" I also could tell immediately that he was a lefty. He was beautiful, perfect and amazing.
My marriage completely sucked and sometimes I think I knew that going into my wedding day. But I think I was meant to have these 2 children and that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't married my ex. So be it. It was worth it.
Happy Birthday, Aaron!
Aaron and Sarah at his dorm in September.
A day of reflection... in my own way
Sep. 28th, 2009 10:17 amToday is Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of Atonement and contemplation. I'm hardly the best or most observant Jew around, so I handle this according to my personal code. I can't fast because that road leads straight to a migraine, which I seriously do NOT want. Believe me, you don't want me with a migraine either. It's downright scary. I don't go to a synagogue for various reasons. I used to belong to one and I really enjoyed going to weekly services and celebrating the High Holy Days with my fellow congregants. But the politics and backbiting crept in - as it usually does - and I felt that I could no long participate. But I will not go to work on this day unless I am in danger of losing my job. It is the highest of the holy days and I just can't do it. So I stay home, putter around and contemplate my life.
This has been a very momentous year. Sarah finishing high school, graduating and going off to UVM. Aaron getting a serious girl friend, finally starting to develop into a real adult and finding his niche at Champlain College. Me making a big, scary change by leaving my secure but sometimes aggravating law firm job to join another vendor company, hopefully with more success than past ventures into the "dark side". So far, so good on that score. David and I becoming "empty nesters" and seeing what our future will be like now that the kids are not ever present. We've recommitted to each other more deeply and we're making plans for our eventual escape to Vermont on a permanent basis.
Today is also Aaron's 21st birthday, a momentous occasion in its own right. I can remember the day of his birth so clearly - it doesn't seem possible that it was 21 years ago. I had a very rough time with the pregnancy and the delivery was no different. He was 12 days overdue and when I finally did go into labor it was not productive. He didn't fit down the chute so the doctor called for an emergency C section and they went in and got him. When it was all over and the nurse placed him in my arms, I said "So you are the one who has been kicking me all this time!" I also could tell immediately that he was a lefty. He was beautiful, perfect and amazing.
My marriage completely sucked and sometimes I think I knew that going into my wedding day. But I think I was meant to have these 2 children and that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't married my ex. So be it. It was worth it.
Happy Birthday, Aaron!
Aaron and Sarah at his dorm in September.
This has been a very momentous year. Sarah finishing high school, graduating and going off to UVM. Aaron getting a serious girl friend, finally starting to develop into a real adult and finding his niche at Champlain College. Me making a big, scary change by leaving my secure but sometimes aggravating law firm job to join another vendor company, hopefully with more success than past ventures into the "dark side". So far, so good on that score. David and I becoming "empty nesters" and seeing what our future will be like now that the kids are not ever present. We've recommitted to each other more deeply and we're making plans for our eventual escape to Vermont on a permanent basis.
Today is also Aaron's 21st birthday, a momentous occasion in its own right. I can remember the day of his birth so clearly - it doesn't seem possible that it was 21 years ago. I had a very rough time with the pregnancy and the delivery was no different. He was 12 days overdue and when I finally did go into labor it was not productive. He didn't fit down the chute so the doctor called for an emergency C section and they went in and got him. When it was all over and the nurse placed him in my arms, I said "So you are the one who has been kicking me all this time!" I also could tell immediately that he was a lefty. He was beautiful, perfect and amazing.
My marriage completely sucked and sometimes I think I knew that going into my wedding day. But I think I was meant to have these 2 children and that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't married my ex. So be it. It was worth it.
Happy Birthday, Aaron!
Aaron and Sarah at his dorm in September.
So, I am now officially 50. It feels OK so far. Of course, always better than the alternative. I admit that I was a bit freaked out over it before the actual event, but now that it is a fact of life I'm cool with it. I guess what hit me hardest was the thought - for the first time - that there is more of my life behind me than ahead of me. That is kind of a scary realization, but I've dealt with it now.
It helped that it was a very nice birthday. I received really pretty flowers from my secretary and one of my vendor friends. My new assistant bought me a nice box of Godiva. You cannot go wrong with chocolate - at least not for me. Several friends sent me e-cards and e-greetings of various sorts, which cheered me mightily. I like being thought of, it makes me feel very special. My son baked me a yummy birthday cake and we were able to enjoy it with
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
taldragon and daisho before they took off for home on Thursday. Having house guests for a week was interesting too. I wish I had had more time to spend with them. And I wish I was a better housekeeper. As the Doormouse said, "No time!! No time!!" But it was lovely to spend time with them, as limited as it was.
So, you may ask, what did David do for my birthday? Well, dear readers, he scored major boyfriend points. He surprised me with tickets to see the new production of "MacBeth" with Patrick Stewart which is in a limited run on Broadway. I have been whining a bit because I really wanted to see this, but I never thought he'd get tickets. But he did and I was thrilled.Yes, I confess. I have had a mad passionate crush on Patrick Stewart since I first saw him in the Masterpiece Theater production of "I, Claudius" in 1976. He played Sejanus, evil, ambitious, sneaky and sexy as all hell. I've been hooked ever since. The man is going to be 68 this year and he is still as magnetic and attractive as ever. I was incredibly jealous of Kate Fleetwood because she gets to kiss him several times in the show. Lucky woman... sigh.
The production was wonderful: passionate, bloody, intense and creative. It was David's first time seeing Shakespeare live and I'm glad he got to see this.
The rest of the day was very nice. The weather was perfect, there was a street fair right outside the theater - when have they done this in the theater district before?? - and it was great to just have the day to ourselves with no one to worry about.
We wandered around the fair, moseyed over to Bryant Park and then hopped the Q train down to Union Square and finally scored some Barak Obama campaign buttons. We had dinner at the Heartland Brew Pub there and then headed back home.
It was a lovely day.
So, I am now officially 50. It feels OK so far. Of course, always better than the alternative. I admit that I was a bit freaked out over it before the actual event, but now that it is a fact of life I'm cool with it. I guess what hit me hardest was the thought - for the first time - that there is more of my life behind me than ahead of me. That is kind of a scary realization, but I've dealt with it now.
It helped that it was a very nice birthday. I received really pretty flowers from my secretary and one of my vendor friends. My new assistant bought me a nice box of Godiva. You cannot go wrong with chocolate - at least not for me. Several friends sent me e-cards and e-greetings of various sorts, which cheered me mightily. I like being thought of, it makes me feel very special. My son baked me a yummy birthday cake and we were able to enjoy it with
taldragon and daisho before they took off for home on Thursday. Having house guests for a week was interesting too. I wish I had had more time to spend with them. And I wish I was a better housekeeper. As the Doormouse said, "No time!! No time!!" But it was lovely to spend time with them, as limited as it was.
So, you may ask, what did David do for my birthday? Well, dear readers, he scored major boyfriend points. He surprised me with tickets to see the new production of "MacBeth" with Patrick Stewart which is in a limited run on Broadway. I have been whining a bit because I really wanted to see this, but I never thought he'd get tickets. But he did and I was thrilled.Yes, I confess. I have had a mad passionate crush on Patrick Stewart since I first saw him in the Masterpiece Theater production of "I, Claudius" in 1976. He played Sejanus, evil, ambitious, sneaky and sexy as all hell. I've been hooked ever since. The man is going to be 68 this year and he is still as magnetic and attractive as ever. I was incredibly jealous of Kate Fleetwood because she gets to kiss him several times in the show. Lucky woman... sigh.
The production was wonderful: passionate, bloody, intense and creative. It was David's first time seeing Shakespeare live and I'm glad he got to see this.
The rest of the day was very nice. The weather was perfect, there was a street fair right outside the theater - when have they done this in the theater district before?? - and it was great to just have the day to ourselves with no one to worry about.
We wandered around the fair, moseyed over to Bryant Park and then hopped the Q train down to Union Square and finally scored some Barak Obama campaign buttons. We had dinner at the Heartland Brew Pub there and then headed back home.
It was a lovely day.
