Ramblings and Ruminations

So... the weekend was... interesting.  David's sister moved in with us, albeit temporarily.  Of course, I don't know how long temporary will be exactly.  We shall see.

To backtrack, his sister Laura is 45, single, no kids and possessing of a strong independent streak.  She has lived in various parts of the country and had 2 careers - that of journalist and of teacher (English and History).  For the past 8 years she has lived in Australia because she decided that she could not live in a Bush America.  About a year ago or so she decided that she was homesick and wanted to move back to the good old U S of A.  She decided to settle in the New York City area and - without anyone consulting me - it was decreed that she would come and live with us until she got a job, an apartment, etc.

The original plan (if you can call it that) was that she would travel from Oz to Texas (where their mother lives) and stay with Mom for about 3 weeks or so and then come to NY.  This was all supposed to end with her getting to us sometime around Thanksgiving. 

Last Monday morning over breakfast David casually mentioned that he had spoken with his mother over the weekend and that she told him "Laura is flying into Texas on Monday and will be coming to New York on Saturday".  As in last Saturday.  As in giving me pretty much no time to get ready.  Yes, we had a room designated for her but it was currently in use as our computer room/office and we used the closet for storage, etc.  So after a stressful week at work Saturday arrived and I rolled up my sleeves (figuratively speaking) and we got to work.  In the end the room was cleared out, bookcases moved, computer and big desk moved into the living room, closet cleaned out and supplies moved to basement and carpet cleaned.  Then we went to Target and Ikea and shopped like demons.  I spent about $600 I couldn't really spare on a dresser, a bed and mattress, sheets, blanket, pillow and other assorted acoutrements.  The end result is we have a very nice guest room now - it looks quite pretty.  taldragon  - when you back to visit you will now have a proper room.  However if  daisho and firenightingale come too, we will get quite close!

Laura's flight was supposed to come in around 7 PM, so we thought we'd pick her up at JFK and whisk her off to a nice dinner.  However, we had HORRIBLE weather here on Saturday - raging winds, torrential downpours and general misery so naturally her flight was delayed.  And delayed.  And then cancelled.  And then she was rebooked on another flight which got in about 3 hours later.  And then it got delayed.  And delayed.  The upshot is that we picked her up at the airport around 12:30 AM. 

Sunday I spent the morning researching what laptop and cell phone Laura should get and then taking her shopping for them.  And then taking her shopping for groceries because she says she only eats "free range and organic" foods.  Uh huh.  So I took her to Trader Joe's, which she liked.  But then we had to go to Waldbaum's because Ms. Free Range Organic has to have her Coke and pimento cheese spread.  Okay.  Then we went home and I spent another couple of hours setting up her laptop and cell phone. 

There is more, but I don't want to sound too snarky or bore anyone.  Suffice it to say that I think this will be OK but it feels a little weird to have someone living with us.

I am very conflicted about something.  I honestly don't know what to think about this.

I have a brother.  I don't speak of him much.  We've never been close.  I have never really thought of him as a brother.  He was just the pain in the ass who lived in the same house and somehow came from the same parents.  I know a lot of people say things like that about their siblings but deep down they really love them or at least feel some affection towards them.  Not me.  Alex hated me from the minute I was born and that never really changed our entire lives.  I was competition for Prince Alexi just by coming into the world.  He regularly beat me up, tried to blame me for everything he did wrong - which was pretty much everything and made my life miserable.  He was horrible to my parents, dropped out of high school, dealt drugs, used drugs, got arrested quite often, made promises he never intended to keep and manipulated everyone he came in contact with.  In fact, that is the best way to sum him up: he is a master manipulator.  He was not born without talent and ability.  He was a good artist, a talented musician, a good chef.  But he would rather rip people off and run scams than ever figure out a way to earn a living honestly.

When my parents died, he was still living in our childhood home.  Or should I say the ruins of our childhood home.  He never lifted a finger to help out.  He stole from my parents, he stole from me, he sold their things right out from under them.  I had to take care of my parents, run all their errands, hire someone to move in and cook and clean and care for them as they got sicker.  Alex never helped.  All I asked him to do was the food shopping with the money I brought over each week.  He kept the money and the aide had nothing to give them for food.  So I stopped that and used Peapod to deliver the groceries so at least my parents could eat.

I'm rambling.  Sorry.

I set him up with enough money to go out to California to live.  He had an apartment, a truck he bought with the money I gave him and he should have been OK.  But that never happens with him.  I had my own problems to deal with - divorce, job loss, foreclosure, more job loss.  He called a few times but once he found out I really didn't have any more money to send him, he stopped calling for a long time.

Then about 2 years ago I got a call from a guy in CA who said he was a friend of my brother and that Alex had been in a car accident and was in bad shape.  I thanked him for the information but I really had no intention of calling him or rushing out there.  

Today I cleaned out a very old backlog of voice mail on my home phone.  I don't pay much attention to my home phone - anyone who really wants to reach one of us will call our cell phones.  In there I discovered several old messages from my brother, the guy who called me to tell me about his accident and a woman who appears to be a social worker of some kind.

If they are looking for money from me, they can forget it.  I haven't got it and even if I did I sure as hell wouldn't spend it on Alex.

I returned the calls from the social worker and the other guy but just got voice mail.  I refuse to call Alex.

I know I am a horrible person for this but after watching him try to choke my parents to death when I was a kid, I really have no feeling for him.

Well, we were supposed to be leaving for Vermont this morning.  In fact, by now we should have been well along on our journey.  However, when I double-checked our reservation yesterday I discovered that our first week at Smugglers is a Sunday check-in.  We have always gone Saturday to Saturday, so I can possibly be forgiven for assuming that this one would be the same.  Good thing I checked.  I don't think getting up there and finding out that we had nowhere to sleep would have been a particularly good bonding experience for any of us.

So, it's not so bad.  We get an extra day to pack and prepare, clean out the car, David can get a (badly needed) haircut and we'll get the car all ready so we can take off early tomorrow morning.  Perhaps the traffic will be a little better tomorrow as well, since many more people leave on Saturday than Sunday for a vacation.  Yes, I am Pollyanna personified.

I am a little concerned about the fact that this is a FAMILY vacation.  Both Aaron and Sarah are coming with us.  The last time we all went to Vermont together - 2 years ago - it was, shall we say, a less than successful trip.  The kids are too old for the camps anymore and they didn't seem to be very interested in meeting other kids at Smugglers and making friends and generally going off to do their own thing at all.  They clung to me - especially Sarah - like leeches and drove us kind of crazy.  David and I could not get a moment alone together.  I had to threaten them with listening to us make love before they would go away for half an hour.  I would have made good on that threat, by the way.  We may be old but we have our needs.

Well, we'll see how everything goes.  Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are primarily devoted to college campus tours for Sarah.  We'll be visiting UVM, Champlain, Marlboro, Castleton, College of Southern Vermont and Bennington.  Her primary criteria for choice of college comes down to: it has to be in Vermont, needs to be small and rural (the first 2 schools are being visited against her will, sort of), has to have a good English and creative writing department and if it had a good ice hockey team that would be even better.  Considering she managed to develop a stress fracture in her left foot and is stumping around in a $95 walking cast, this should be very interesting.  She has a tendency to whine; this ought to ratchet up the whining to Olympic levels.

But this will probably also be the last FAMILY vacation.  Sarah will be off to college by this time next year and Aaron (I hope) will start to pull away from his dependence on me and go off and do his own thing.  So I'll suck it up, enjoy my children and just hope that we don't hate each other by September 2nd.