kukla_red | Recent Entries

So I'll just get them all in here at once.

Boo

I am recommitting to writing here on a regular basis — every day if I can swing it. I recently took a trip through time and reread my old entries and I really enjoyed it. So if I am going to have stuff to read in the future, I need to start writing more frequently NOW. So I will.

Things have been going really well with the new job. I am massively over-worked and over-committed, but I sort of knew that would happen once I took the position. It just comes with the territory. This Thursday it will be exactly 4 months since I started. I've already gotten a (pro-rated) raise and a promotion to Senior Director. It's a nice title. I've gone to Virginia several times to work with my team down there and I really love it. Every time I go, it is like a reunion with old friends. Everyone is welcoming and fun and glad to see me. We all hang out and eat together at lunchtime and I really enjoy getting to know everyone.

David and I traveled down there last month for the annual Summer bash weekend. It was pretty great, although incredibly hot. INCREDIBLY hot. It was a crazy week because before we could leave for Virginia, I had to do a one day run to a client site in Philadelphia on that Tuesday. So it was hours in the car driving down and back to Philly and then get home and throw clothes in my suitcase and drive down with David to Virginia on Wednesday. I worked in the office on Thursday and Friday while David got to play tourist in DC. He was on his own on Thursday — walked a million miles visiting many monuments and museums while sweating up a storm in ridiculous heat and humidity. On Friday, he joined a big group from my office with many kids and spouses as they toured the nation's Capitol Building. Afterwards, we all met up at a posh rooftop deck on the Virginia side of the Potomac, over-looking DC. Amazing views but hot as Hades. Too hot to eat, we stayed for a bit and then drove back to our very luxurious hotel for a nice steak dinner once we had cooled off.

On Saturday, we all met up at the CEO's McMansion in Reston, VA. Wow. His basement alone is larger and way nicer than any house I have ever lived in. It is HUGE, has 2 full bathrooms, a media room, a large wet bar, and a gourmet kitchen. Plus an enormous area that could comfortably fit several bowling lanes. We did some charity work before the festivities started — we packed over 100,000 meals for an organization that sends the food around the world to communities in need.

The company was founded by 2 brothers from India. We have about 60 people on the US team and about 300 to 400 in India in 2 offices. The brothers and our CEO (who is also from India) are very concerned about being good corporate citizens. We do a lot of sponsorship work and they always make sure that every "fun" event has its roots in something more meaningful than just seeing how many beers someone can drink. They all gave speeches at the party about the ripple effect the company has had in India for the people who work with us. I have a team of 6 technical writers over there and I have seen this first hand. People who came from abject poverty are now able to buy houses and cars and provide a really good life for their families. It puts things into perspective.

After we packed the food, it was time to party. And O wow, do these people know how to throw a party! Their backyard is like a state park. Huge piece of beautiful property, giant in-ground pool with a waterfall and separate kiddie pool. Huge pool house with A/C, 2 bathrooms, amazing sound system, and seating. Outdoor seating all over, 2 DJs playing music (not my favorite stuff but my tastes are a bit different than most).

The CEO's wife, Alpa, is amazing. She organizes all this for all of the events. She somehow makes everyone feel welcome and greeted warmly and like you are the only guest she has. She created the menu to include foods from every state where the people who work at the company are from — make it yourself taco bar for the folks from California, New York cheese cake, seafood from Seattle... and on and on. Several bars were set up around the area. Roaming servers with appetizers and the bartenders were making signature drinks for all — heavy on the Moscow mules which were delicious.

It was a lot of fun, even though the heat was oppressive. I did not go into the pool, although I really wanted to. I just have this theory that the people I work with do not need to see me in a bathing suit. But we had fun and David got to meet and chat with many of the people I work with. I also got to meet a lot of them for the first time. We have people scattered all around the country — Seattle, LA, Denver, Dallas, Chicago, Maine, and a lot of other places. We finally went back to the hotel around 10 and got some sleep.

Speaking of travel, I will be doing a bunch of it in the coming weeks. First up is a trip unlike any I have ever taken. I'm going to Cancun! I have never been to any place that is tropical and I have always wanted to — just to see what it is like. One evening a couple of weeks ago I was watching an episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" (don't mock me, it's a guilty pleasure) and at the end, there was a beach wedding in Cancun. I said to the family "Just once in my life I want to go someplace like this and walk on a white sandy beach and swim in that crystal blue water". As I was saying this, my phone chirped and I got a text from my boss and friend, Amy. She said she wanted to call me, so we got on the phone. To make a long story short, she decided she wanted to take a vacation and go somewhere really pretty and she found a penthouse condo in Cancun and she would pay for it and did I want to go? All I have to do is pay for my airfare and food. It took me about 5 seconds to say yes. This is where we are staying. It has 2 bedrooms, each with its own bathroom and 2 private pools, with a sun deck and a Jacuzzi. Also a huge kitchen, dining room and living room. It looks amazing. All we plan on doing is hanging out in our pools, going down to the beach a few times, and relaxing. Well, we will be working some of the time — both of us are too busy not to, but if I have that view to look at, I can handle it. The whole thing seems like a dream. I can't believe I'm going on a trip like this!

Once we get back, I'll be home for about 2 weeks and then I have to go back down to Virginia again for our All Hands meeting. Go down on Monday, office activities Tuesday through Thursday and go home on Friday. On Saturday, David and I will leave for our annual foliage trip to Vermont. So yeah, it's going to be crazy.

OK, David is waiting for me downstairs — we're going to see my Mets play today! They have been hot as pistols and deGrom is pitching today!

Be good, y'all!

Next entry

So a quick entry for today. It hurts to type at the moment, so I will keep this brief. I'll get to why it hurts in a minute.

The job is getting busier by the minute. I have so much to do that I fear I will never get even remotely caught up. It's all stuff I enjoy doing and stuff I am good at, but there just aren't enough hours in the day. Sigh.

Today, for instance, I got up around 6:30 in the morning. I started at the computer around 6:50 and chatted with my team in India (they are 9.5 hours ahead of East coast time, so when I get up they are nearing the end of their day), took care of some tasks that I do every Monday morning, and worked on prepping for a training session at 10 AM. I do a fair amount of prep for each session, since it is usually done on the client's database and I need to familiarize myself with their data so I can run searches, know their coding template, etc. I did the session at 10 to 11 AM and then I packed up my laptop and David took me to the train station. I had to go into NYC to do an on-site visit with a client firm. That took up the rest of my day. I still have mountains of work to do, but I have 4 more training sessions this week, plus several internal meetings. Sigh. It's no wonder I work on weekends.

Oh, the reason it hurts to type is that I took a cab from Penn Station to the client's office and the cab driver crashed into the car in front of us on 8th Avenue. I slammed into the divider and smashed my wrist hard. My bracelet cut into my wrist and was bleeding. Now the whole thing aches and doesn't like being moved around much. The nice ladies at the law firm where I was training took good care of me and gave me a band-aid and some water. I was fine for the training, but it is quite sore now.

Never a dull moment.

Ah well, as Scarlet O'Hara said, tomorrow is another day.

I already missed yesterday...

In my defense, the day was so action packed, I barely had time to breathe. Today was pretty stuffed too, but I am waiting for David to be ready to go to dinner so I have a few minutes. I hope he is ready soon because I am starving.

The wrist (car accident in cab in NYC on Monday) is still sore but it isn't too intrusive. I wish it would hurry up and heal already.

Work is even more intense these days, if possible. Between the 5 to 7 or so training sessions I have a week, plus internal meetings, plus prep time for the trainings, and just trying to catch up with the deluge of email I get everyday, I am pretty swamped. No idea how I can handle all this. I just keep plugging along.

Today is a little bit of a weird date for me. On August 14, 1983 I got married for the first time. Today would have been our 36 wedding anniversary, had we stayed together. It was such a beautiful day — sunny, clear, no humidity, not too hot. O well.

Sometimes I get a little depressed about the past. I try not to be, but every now and then it sweeps over me. I feel sad because I cannot share my happiness in my children with their father. He is a lost cause, still bitter over the fact that I refused to be his punching bag anymore. And sometimes it hurts that my kids want to have any relationship with him. He treated them and me like crap. He was violently and verbally abusive. He stole from me and even the kids. He tried to pull all kinds of dirty tricks, like telling the kids that "Mommy is crazy and I'm going to have her committed and this lady is your new mommy." Yeah, shit like that. He called the cops once on the kids, trying to have them arrested claiming they assaulted him. Right. He was a grown man and they were 11 and 8 at the time and had been watching a movie while I took a shower. He never paid a penny of support or any money towards their college education or medical bills, which he was on the hook for according to our divorce decree.

I don't want them to hate him. I worked really hard to prevent that from happening. It would have been easy for me to make them hate him but I never did anything like that, even when he tried to trash me in front of them. And I know that my children love me — I know that. But sometimes, when they go off to see him for dinner or breakfast or an activity, it still hurts that they want to have a relationship with someone who put their mother through a plate glass window.

OK, enough whining. Sorry about that. It comes out every once in a while.

How are things in your world?

I am scared and mean. I am envious and feeling spiteful. I read so many posts on Facebook about people taking vacations, visiting their vacation homes, having fun, and all I feel these days is anger and jealousy. I am scared witless. I still have not found a job that will have me. All I get are rejections or — even worse — just nothing. No response to me at all. I have great conversations with recruiters that then go nowhere. I have interviews — although not many of those — and then I get silence. I have enough money to keep us going and cover the bills for another month and then we have to make some scary and hard decisions. I will have just enough to pay moving expenses to relocate somewhere less expensive (our rent here is $3000 a month) but then what do I do about my son? He still lives with us but his life is here on Long Island. I can't think about the holidays or gifts or fun or anything except the gnawing stark fear in my guts. I can't sleep, I have trouble focusing sometimes. And even if I can move us, what will we do for money then? I am too young to file for Social Security. I can't get medical coverage. I might as well die. This is not living. This is just terror. Unending terror.

I am 60 years old, I have tons of good experience, but it seems I am washed up. No use to anyone. I have reached out to friends and contacts. I have sent out hundreds of resumes and cover letters. I have applied to anything and everything that seems even remotely appropriate. I am terrified of being homeless but I think that is exactly what is coming. I won't even have a car because I have a leased vehicle and it will get repossessed once I can't make the payment.

I can't believe my life ended up like this. Useless, broke, soon to be out on the streets.

Current Mood: worried

Yes, I am still here. I lurk, I occasionally post a comment or two but life has kept me away from here for the most part. I do read the entries in big gulps, so I have kept up with y'all. I hope I haven't missed any big events. If I have, slap me upside the head and let me know, OK?

So Erika, if you haven't been around these parts for a while, why are you here now? Well, I'll tell ya. I'm getting ready for a major event and I needed to write it down so I can work through all of the feels and stuff.

A week from this Monday, on July 9th (who said we could be up to July already!!?) I will be having surgery on my spine. Regular readers of this space may remember that a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis, a slipped and leaking disk and some other nonsense going on in my back. What used to be mild intermittent (but frequent) back pain has grown into a severe condition that prevents me from standing or walking for more than 5 minutes at a time before extreme pain sets in. This has shrunk my world considerably. There are so many things I can't do anymore. I walk with a chair cane now, which I use to sit when the pain gets too much. I can only shop in stores that have electric carts for their patrons because I just can't handle it. Going to museums, craft fairs, farmers' markets, or just walking around is impossible.

So surgery it is. The surgeon will remove the arthritic material from my lower 3 vertebrae, remove the many bone spurs that my spine has so helpfully grown, remove the random nodules that have grown in places along my spine, and then decide if I need a spinal fusion or if he can use a cage to hold my lower back together. He won't know that until he's in there. If I need the fusion, I will stay overnight at the hospital. If not, I'll go home the same day. Seriously, back surgery as an out patient procedure? Crazy stuff.

I am having this done at the Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC. That's where David Wright of the Mets had his procedure done. His is cervical (neck/upper back) and mine is lumbar (lower back), but we are siblings in this. I like my surgeon a lot. I picked him off the HSS web site because he had the kindest face and great credentials. He is part of the team that invented some of the equipment he will be using. You can't get much better than that.

I've been through all the extensive pre-surgical testing and everything came out OK. I think a small part of me was secretly hoping that something would pop up that would prevent the surgery, but I'm good to go.

I confess that I am a bit scared. Perhaps more than a bit. I know that back surgery has come a very long way since the days when my father needed it and was too terrified to have it, but I'm still very nervous. Time seems to be swooping along at break neck speed and I feel like it will be here in an instant.

The recovery period worries me a little too. I'm on a spinal stenosis support group on Facebook and it has been helpful, but also a little worrisome. Lots of people have had similar procedures, some with excellent results, some not so much. Most of them said that the recovery is tough. My surgeon said that the recovery period is between 4 to 8 weeks. He said the first week I won't be able to do much. Standing and walking should be OK, but sitting will be painful. So I'm taking a week of PTO for that week. After that, I should be able to work from home using a laptop in bed. The surgeon doesn't want me sitting for long periods for a couple of weeks.

I'll have plenty of help. David works from home full time, Aaron is still living with us and is always very helpful, and Sarah will speed to my side if I so much as crook a finger. And of course, the cats will do their utmost to make sure I am comfortable. They will make sure to sit on me as much as possible.

So I believe it will all be worth it. I just have to stay calm and not let my nerves get to me.

In other news, David's awful sister is back. She was living somewhere in the Middle East for the past several years teaching English as a second language and now that assignment has ended. Before she starts her new one in the fall, she decided to make a visit to the US and see her mother. Admirable, yes but she did it in her usual fashion, by announcing to David that she was coming, ruining our plans to go to Vermont together for a few days (a pre-surgery treat), and then staying at our house with her usual list of demands and mile-high attitude. She started ordering me around immediately and I just ignored her and went upstairs. I haven't seen her in several years. She doesn't look very good. She is a sun worshiper and her skin looks like fine Corinthian leather. She is 5 years younger than I am and she looks years older.

She and David are up in Rochester now, seeing their mother. They will be back on Sunday and then she will leave for her Magical Mystery tour to see various friends. The mystery is how she has any friends at all.

Aaron is in Vermont with his girlfriend, Brit. Sarah and I went up for the first 3 nights of the week I reserved for them. Brit couldn't take the whole week off. This means that I am home alone for a few days. I am never alone at home, so this is rather a treat. I think tonight I will go home, eat something for dinner and then go to bed really early. I know, I live on the edge.

Current Mood: anxious

I actually passed my test!! It was long and difficult, but I did it! I honestly did not think I was going to pass. All through the test, as I responded to question after question, I kept thinking that I was going to fail, this was all for nothing, why was I bothering. But then I finished - over an hour early - and I hit "Submit Test". The wheel went round and round for a few seconds and then it came up "PASS". I was astonished. I still am, actually. But there it was, in shining pixels on the screen. I passed.

For those of you who are curious, the test I took was called CEDS certification. It is given by ACEDS - Association of eDiscovery Specialists, which is a very influential group in my line of work. The test is comprised of 145 questions and you get 4 hours to complete it. It is really hard and most people don't pass it on their first try. And a lot of people never try again - they get too discouraged. So to pass it on the first go 'round was really exciting. Once I complete some paperwork, I will get to put CEDS after my name on professional stuff. It's pretty cool.

This and the clear pathology report are the 2 best things to happen lately.

I haven't felt much like posting lately. The news from this corner is mostly all bad these days and who needs to read some depressing crap from someone who is just pixels on a screen? There, you see what my head does to me when I'm depressed? Argh.

Anyway, I'm still unemployed and without health insurance, which sucks. But my attorney filed my lawsuit yesterday in Federal Court, and that does not suck. I had to come up with $500 for the filing fee, which was not a happy thing given the state of my finances these days, but it will be worth it. I hope.

Also on a more positive note, I have lined up a couple of freelance gigs, which should bring some money in. Not a lot of money, but more than unemployment insurance provides. One is a cool startup that is designing courses for middle and high school kids in leadership and entrepreneurship skills. I personally think this is a really fabulous idea - kids come out of school with very little idea of how the world really works. These courses will help with that. I'll be writing lesson plans based on outlines I receive from my project leader. Her name is Brittany and she's adorable. I can put in my hours when I want to and do as much or as little in a week as I feel I can handle. It will probably last for the summer, with a possibility for continuing into the Autumn, but I am hoping that I will have a full-time job by then.

I also got an offer for some freelance work from a friend of mine who is a bigwig at the worldwide certification association in my field. We used to work together at my last company - we bonded strongly over our dislike of being wet and cold in Amsterdam - and she moved on to ACEDS, and brought along another friend of mine from the dreaded place. So now both ladies are there and have set themselves up as my cheerleaders. They have been promoting me to various companies, trying to get someone to hire me. It was almost successful with a company in NJ, but they balked at my salary - for the moment. There is a chance they will be ready for me in the fall. We'll see.

Anyway, ACEDS offers training and a certification exam that is one of the standards in my industry. It costs a lot of money to do this - $1500 just for the test and $700 for access to the training materials. My friend there has arranged for me to get all of this for free. She wants me to take and pass the test and then help ACEDS in making the tests more international. Right now, it is very US centric and they would like to change this. She will pay me $50 an hour for this work.

But I have to pass the test first. Did I mention I am taking the test today? 145 questions, 4 hours allotted time. I am very nervous.

Wish me luck.

(This is not cross-posting so I am just copying it over.)

I lost my job today.

Life sucks.

Well, at least the best of all possible outcomes. I just saw the oncologist and he said my pathology report was clear - the cancer did not spread. I have to go for checkups every three months, but other than that, I am fine. To say I am relieved would be a gross misstatement. I feel like I've been holding my breath for weeks and weeks and now I can exhale.

Go get those checkups folks! Early detection saves lives!!

Current Mood: thankful

In fact, I'm feeling better.

Not a huge amount better, but better than a week ago.

The surgery went well, except for my very bad reaction to the anesthesia they gave me. They told me I stopped breathing several times during the surgery and they had to intubate me. It also took me a really long time - over three hours - to wake up after the procedure. I don't know what they gave me, but it was strong stuff.

I feel like I was mugged in an alleyway and knifed repeatedly in the abdomen, which is also what I look like. I have several (4? 5?) wounds across my abdomen which are stitched up with something resembling fishing nylon. Very pokey and annoying. I have bruises all over the place - some from the 2 IV runs, some from places they took blood (I bruise easily and quite dramatically), and some whose source is a complete mystery. All of them are lovely shades of dark purple, on their way to green and yellow before they disappear. As I said, I look like I was mugged. The stitches are coming out on Thursday. I'm looking forward to that.

I don't hurt as much, which is good. I just tried to put jeans on and that was a no go. My body is not ready for that at all. It hurt way too much. I haven't been doing very much since I came home from the hospital last Wednesday afternoon. This is the first time I have sat at my desk and used my pc. Mostly it's been lots of napping, TV time, and hanging out with my kids. They have been very worried about me during this whole thing and I have had to do a lot of reassuring. Each of them took a day off work to stay with me and take care of my every need. They are pampering me. It's nice. Aaron has had a really hard time of things. The night I left for Amsterdam his girlfriend broke up with him. Nice timing. He's very upset - he really thought she was the one. And she is handling things like the drama queen she is, so it is making things worse. Add to that my being away for a week and then the surgery and he's had a bad time. I hope he can relax a bit this weekend.

I'm going to attempt to go back to work tomorrow. I feel like I'm getting pressure from work and that I need to show them I have not disappeared or died. I'll see how it goes. As long as I can work in my comfy sweat pants, I can deal.

I won't know the pathology report results until next Wednesday when I see the oncologist. Of course, I am very worried about what the results will show, but I'm trying not to obsess about it because that way lies madness. I have to focus on positive things.

Right now, I'm positive I am going to go lay down and give my abdomen a rest. It's done enough for today.

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Location: Home

We've picked a date.

Yes, I am grinning like a fool.

Current Mood: excited

This morning, David and I were chatting with our "train group" - the folks we stand with on the platform everyday - and we started joking about next May when Sarah and Aaron will both be graduating college. I said something about it being just my luck that both kids would be graduating on the same day - ha ha.

Guess what.

They are. I checked.

O brother.

One graduating in Vermont and the other on Long Island and both on the same day: May 19, 2013.

Anyone have a Tardis they can loan me? A time winder? A way back machine?

I am so screwed.

Current Mood: stressed

I haven't been around in a while, have I? Thanks to all my friends here who have not dropped me. Work, life and FaceBook have been monopolizing my time.

Sarah (a.k.a. "da Sparrow") has been properly shipped off to England, where

taldragon and several other of our friends there are making sure she is safe, happy and occupied on the weekends. She is enjoying her classes, but her workload is pretty light so she's had lots of time to travel around. She's been to London twice and she and a bunch of friends are going to Scotland next week for a few days. She's planning on splitting her spring break time between Italy and (I think) Spain. Or maybe France. She wanted to go to Greece, but things are not very stable there at the moment. I miss her like crazy, but we message on FB and Skype frequently, so it isn't so bad.

Aaron is still living with Lauren. He's doing very well in school and at work. She is pretty much not doing anything. Her mother passed away in early November, which was sudden but not really. Her mom was a serious diabetic who refused to take care of herself. Pretty much a recipe for disaster. Then Lauren's grandmother died a few weeks ago, so her life has been pretty chaotic. There is a lot there, but I don't have the strength to go into it right now. For another post.

The big news is that I am engaged. David proposed to me yesterday morning at the train station - kind of fitting for us, if you know our story. I was very shocked, promptly burst into tears but remembered to say "YES". I am very happy. He is wondering what took him so long. Well, yeah... Anyway, the happy event will take place sometime this year, probably in the summer. We can't do anything until Sarah comes back - she'd kill us! She doesn't come home until June 15th, so we have some time to figure this all out.

Yes, I am girly enough to want an engagement ring. This is the one I picked out and David is going to get it for me. It isn't real - well, it is real gold, but the stones are CZ. The love is real, I don't care if the stones are fake. It is a beautiful ring and it will make me happy.

Besides, as David says, it is just a placeholder for the important thing, which is the wedding band. This is what we've picked out for our wedding bands:

Or possibly this:

These are handmade rings from a craftswoman in Vermont. They are very suited to us.

Now we have to figure out where we want to get married - up in Vermont, which means our friends would have to travel - or in New York. We might have the ceremony in Vermont and then throw a party back home. We'll see. It won't be anything elaborate. There won't be any saying "yes to the dress". That's fine. I had all that and I didn't want it then, don't want it now.

I'm very happy and that's what matters.

So, how are all of you? Do you even remember me?

Hugs to all!

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: New York City

Well, we are under a mandatory evacuation order. Yes folks, Hurricane Irene has set her sloe-eyed sights on Long Island and the rest of the tri-state area, after she gets finished with the southern part of the east coast. We live far enough south on Long Island that we are under the mandatory order issued by our county executive. They are making a very big deal of this storm, enough to make me very nervous.
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Right now, Irene is listed as a Category 2 storm and hopefully she will weaken as she comes up the coast. But even a Cat 1 storm making a direct hit on NYC and the surrounding environs is a bad thing. A very bad thing. The Long Island Rail Road, Metro North Rail and the NYC subway system will all shut down tomorrow at noon. The subway system has never shut down like this.

My son and his girlfriend will head north with her mother, to a friend's house up in Orange County. David and I will be leaving soon to start driving to Vermont. We had our vacation all planned out anyway, but we're leaving early to get ahead of the evacuating masses. We will stay on the road for a few hours an then (hopefully) find a motel to get a few hours of sleep. Then we'll finish the ride up to Burlington, VT and get Sarah moved into her dorm tomorrow. (Come on, aren't you jealous?) After she's settled, we will head up to Smugglers' Notch where my timeshare will welcome us. By then we will collapse and sleep. And worry because the worse will be hitting here sometme on Sunday.

What, me worry?

O yeah.

Current Mood: worried
Current Music: The Weather Channel

I had a nice encounter on the train this morning and it got me thinking. We see the same woman every morning, she gets on a stop or 2 after we do. She is very lovely, always impecably dressed. I always check out to see what she is wearing because I know she will look amazing. We've never spoken, but I get a kick out of looking at her beautiful clothes and seeing how she accessorizes every day. David didn't have to go to work today so I rode in alone and this woman sat next to me. We rode in silence just about the whole way until we were in the tunnel on the final approach to Penn Station. I was getting my bag and packback ready and she asked if I wanted to get up (I was against the window, she was on the aisle). I said no, that I would wait. (Background: David and I usually get up and go to the door a bit early because he has to catch another train to New Jersey from Penn Station and sometimes we run late.) We started to chat a bit and I told her that the dress she wore yesterday was fabulous (which it was!). She thanked me and told me that she watches David and I every morning, and that she is a bit jealous of "what you have - I want that". She said that she sees the way he looks at me and how much love is there and she thinks it is so wonderful. I got a little ferklempt. It was really sweet. I told her that I always check out her wardrobe and I admire her style. She looks sort of like a shorter Iman (wife of David Bowie, incredible fashion model). She told me she works for Donna Karan and we chatted a little about fashion, body image and getting fit.

It was a lovely conversation and it made both of us smile as we left the train.

It also made me think that encounters like this are becoming more rare, as we spend so much time with our heads buried in various electronic devices or plugged into them so we cannot hear what is around us. I love talking to strangers. I've made so many friends that way. But it is harder to make friends when everyone is in their own little world. There is less eye contact, less casual conversation and less friendliness in general. That makes me sad.

Unplug. Leave the iPod in your pocket for a while. Take off the headphones. Don't check the Blackberry every minute.

Connect with people. Look up and smile.

Now you can't hear me,
your ears are truly sealed.
You can't speak either,
your mouth is filled.
You can't see nothing,
and pinball completes the scene.
Here comes Uncle Ernie to guide you to
Your very own machine.

Current Mood: contemplative

( Hi! Miss me? )

OK, I had better get moving. Lots to do here! Just found out I am going to DC on Monday and staying overnight. Kim, are you listening?? Dinner on my expense account???

Current Mood: bouncy

Cross out what you have done.
~~graduated high school~~
smoked a cigarette
~~kissed someone~~
~~gotten so drunk you passed out~~
ridden every ride at an amusement park
collected something really stupid
~~gone fishing~~
watched four movies in one night
~~gone long periods of time without sleep~~
~~lied to someone~~
snorted cocaine
failed a class
~~been in a car accident~~
been in a tornado
done hard drugs
watched someone die
~~been to a funeral~~
~~burned yourself~~ By accident though
run a marathon
~~cried yourself to sleep~~
~~spent over $200 in one day~~
~~flown on a plane~~
~~written a 10 page letter~~
gone skiing.
~~been sailing~~
~~had a best friend~~
~~lost someone you loved~~
shoplifted something
been to jail
dangerously close to being in jail
had detention
skipped school
~~got in trouble for something you didn’t do~~
stolen books from the library
~~gone to a different country~~
dropped out of school
been in a mental hospital
~~watched the “harry potter” movies~~
~~had an online diary~~
fired a gun
gambled in a casino
~~had a yard sale~~
had a lemonade stand
actually made money at the lemonade stand
~~been in a school play~~
taken a lie detector test
swam with dolphins
gone to sea world
voted for someone on a reality tv show
~~written poetry~~
~~read more than 20 books a year~~
~~gone to europe~~
used a coloring book over age 12
~~had surgery~~
had stitches
taken a taxi
~~seen the washington monument~~
~~had more than 5 im’s/online conversations going at once~~
overdosed
had a drug or alcohol problem
been in a fist fight
~~suffered any form of abuse~~
had a hamster
~~pet a wild animal~~
used a credit card
gone surfing in california
~~done “spirit day” at school~~
~~dyed your hair~~
gotten a tattoo
~~had something pierced~~
~~gotten straight a’s~~
~~been on the honor roll~~
~~known someone with hiv or aids~~
~~taken pictures with a webcam~~
~~started a fire~~
gotten caught having/going to a party while parents were gone

Spring is in the air and your wardrobe looks a little frayed? Have no fear! Help is on the way!

My daughter works at The Gap and a couple of times a year the employees get to distribute a special coupon to friends and family. It will entitle you to 30% off your purchase at The Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic or the Gap Outlet store and 5% of what you spend will go to the charity of her choice: the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

Here is the link to the coupon – spend a lot!! It’s for a good cause!

Current Mood: okay

I worked from home yesterday mostly because the weather was forecast to be lousy: heavy rain and lots of wind. I didn't have any sessions scheduled and I figured I could stay home, make some chicken soup and a nice roast for dinner. The weather was as promised so I was glad to be home. I stopped at the grocery store after I took David to the train station and got the makings for soup and matzo balls. Dumped the chicken, herbs and veggies into my enormous stock pot and added water and started it boiling. Logged into the office and started working, but had to quit in the afternoon.

Why? Because I am bleeding again. The bad kind. I've had 2 colonoscopies in the past 2 years, both times because of this kind of bleeding. This time the bleeding was accompanied by really bad abdominal pains yesterday. I called my doctor's office and spoke to one of the partners. He said I should go to the ER, but I didn't. I waited a while and the pain stopped. He called me again this morning to check up on me. I told him the bleeding was still going on but the stomach pain stopped. He said I could either go to the ER or come in and see him on Monday, which is what I'm going to do.

On the plus side, the soup turned out great. Me? I'm still worried. I would really like to know why I have had so many episodes of this bleeding within the last 2 years. They keep looking but not finding anything more than a few hemorrhoids.

Blarg.

Current Mood: nervous
Current Location: home

FIRST: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.
SECOND: Tag eight people.

1. Favorite song right now?:
Jeez... I don't know. I don't do current music, for the most part. I think the last current song I liked was "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay when that was playing on the radio. I guess "My Life Would Suck Without You" from the Glee cast would qualify.

2. Last album you bought / downloaded?:
I just downloaded one this morning: "The Secret Language of Birds" by Ian Anderson.

3. Last movie you watched? Did you like it?:
"Mermaids" Really enjoyed watching it again.

4. Three things that are super-annoying at the moment?:
The Skank (see previous journal entries if you don't know who that is)
Most of the people in NYC
Having to finish writing my self-assessment form for my job (which is what I should be doing now rather than writing this)

5. If you had to spend time in prison for any crime, what would it be?:
Assaulting someone who was hurting someone I love.

6. What's really scary?
Spiders. Spiders really scare me.

7. Name two items nearest to you:
My Droid X
My can of Arizona iced green tea with ginseng (if you see one, you know I am nearby)

8. What makes you smile?
Getting a call from my daughter.

9. Two things you're excited for this year?
Moving to Vermont
Getting a bonus next month, first one since 2008

10. Your favorite ice cream flavor?
Mint chocolate chip, but the really good stuff with the shaved chocolate.

11. Guiltiest pleasure?
Project Runway

12. What are doing right now?
Well, I should be working. See the above whine about doing my self-assessment.

13. What is your biggest pet peeve:
Idiots who wander the streets with their faces buried in some electronic device and don't pay attention to where they are going. And people who wear too much perfume and make me gag, sneeze and wheeze.

14. Worst movie you've ever seen?
Hmm, can't really think of one right now.

15. Best way to relax?
Sex

16. Favorite quote / lyric?
This too shall pass.

17. Who's your celebrity crush?
Patrick Stewart, Sam Elliot, Liam Neeson

18. Say something to the person who tagged you:
Nobody tagged me.

I'm not going to tag anyone either - do it if the spirit moves you. :)

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Location: the office

A friend over on Facebook posted this and I thought it was a cool idea. We all know that we're supposed to have buckets lists - things we want to do before we kick the proverbial.. well, you know. But what is on your Anti-Bucket list? What things have you completely had your fill of and would be perfectly happy never to see or hear of again?

Here's some of the things that occurred to me I could live without very nicely:

Glen Beck
Sarah Palin
Tea party (unless there is actual tea being served)
Reality TV of any kind (I ask you, whose reality is that??)
The Royal Couple (I have nothing against them, but seriously I just don't care who their ring bearer is)
Bieber fever
Anyone with the last name of Kardashian or Lohan or Cyrus
Bill O'Reilly
Anyone who yells on TV (unless it is part of a drama)
George W. Bush
Hatred
Prejudice
(OK, those last 2 are fairly universal, I hope, but I wanted to mention them anyway.)

I will probably think of a few more but that's a good start.

What's on your list?

Current Mood: contemplative

If all the nice folks on my LJ friend list (and you are all nice or you wouldn't be here) could send out some positive vibes and think some good thoughts for me for the next hour or so, I'd appreciate it mightily.

I will 'splain later.

Thank you!!

Current Mood: nervous

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Ramblings and Ruminations

A no-longer single woman's guide to her universe

Recent Entries

I forgot to post here from LJ

I am not a nice person

Of strings and sealing wax and whether pigs have wings

I did it!!

I am a lousy correspondent

2017 is not my year

The best of all possible worlds

I'm not dead yet!

September 2, 2012

O fudge

O boy...

Goodnight, Irene...

People, look up!!

Gee, it's been a while...

A meme because I am sleepy

Shop for a Good Cause

Slightly off kilter

I wasn't tagged, but I'm doing it anyway

My Anti-Bucket List

Good thoughts