Being a hard ass

As in, I am glad I am not one.  I have a friend who is almost at the end of her divorce process.  She's been through a lot with her stbx - he's a cheap, mean-spirited man who still cannot understand why she left him.  She has to co-parent with him and I know that has been difficult.  However, they are almost done - just waiting for the judge to sign off on the order.  Her 2 boys are doing well, she's living in a nice apartment and getting ready to lease another new car.  She has a great job near home and that's going well too.

But... (and you knew there would be a but here didn't you?) she seems to be turning into a real self-centered hardass.  When we IM - which is our main point of communication - she is all about her: what's going on in HER life with HER family and HER job and HER love life, etc.  When I told her about my trip to CA being cancelled and that I was really disappointed and sad about it, I didn't get even the slightest "O too bad" from her.  She immediately switched the topic back to her latest date from match.com.  She wasn't like this before.  Lately, she comes off so hard it is getting a little scary.  She's SO down on men in general - it's a wonder she gets any dates at all.  Well, not really.  She's very pretty, petite, slim, active and vivacious so it's no suprise that guys fall all over her.  However, her negative mindset and sense of entitlement is (I believe) driving all her dates away.  She's pissed that the guy she's had 3 dates with is still on match.com looking for who else is out there, but she is doing the same thing!  She's talking to at least 2 other guys and even met one for a drink and had plans to meet another one.  So why is it OK for her to do it but not him?  She wants guys to jump through hoops for her, if they don't call exactly when they say they will she cuts them off at the knees and never speaks to them again and she seems to think she should be treated like a perpetual princess.

I hope this is a temporary thing and is directly related to her divorce being almost final.  Because if this is how she really is, she's going to be alone for a long time.

Being a hard ass

As in, I am glad I am not one.  I have a friend who is almost at the end of her divorce process.  She's been through a lot with her stbx - he's a cheap, mean-spirited man who still cannot understand why she left him.  She has to co-parent with him and I know that has been difficult.  However, they are almost done - just waiting for the judge to sign off on the order.  Her 2 boys are doing well, she's living in a nice apartment and getting ready to lease another new car.  She has a great job near home and that's going well too.

But... (and you knew there would be a but here didn't you?) she seems to be turning into a real self-centered hardass.  When we IM - which is our main point of communication - she is all about her: what's going on in HER life with HER family and HER job and HER love life, etc.  When I told her about my trip to CA being cancelled and that I was really disappointed and sad about it, I didn't get even the slightest "O too bad" from her.  She immediately switched the topic back to her latest date from match.com.  She wasn't like this before.  Lately, she comes off so hard it is getting a little scary.  She's SO down on men in general - it's a wonder she gets any dates at all.  Well, not really.  She's very pretty, petite, slim, active and vivacious so it's no suprise that guys fall all over her.  However, her negative mindset and sense of entitlement is (I believe) driving all her dates away.  She's pissed that the guy she's had 3 dates with is still on match.com looking for who else is out there, but she is doing the same thing!  She's talking to at least 2 other guys and even met one for a drink and had plans to meet another one.  So why is it OK for her to do it but not him?  She wants guys to jump through hoops for her, if they don't call exactly when they say they will she cuts them off at the knees and never speaks to them again and she seems to think she should be treated like a perpetual princess.

I hope this is a temporary thing and is directly related to her divorce being almost final.  Because if this is how she really is, she's going to be alone for a long time.