It's a mad mad world

We are two flawed, fragile people who have somehow managed to find each other in the chaos of the 21st century. We've got baggage, thorns, wounds and scars. He thinks I am a strong, independent woman who doesn't take crap from anyone. He's learning that this is not always true. I think he is an amazing combination of intelligence, cynicism and Dudley Do-Right with a taste for great music. I am learning that he has his dark moments of the soul and has had his heart stomped on several times.

We've built lives, had kids, formed and lost friendships, jobs and homes. We are the sum total of all these experiences and with a few exceptions, neither of us would go back and change much of the past. When you get to this point in your life - and I refuse to call it "middle age" - you have baggage. There is no way around it. All those personal ads I see from people who want to find someone "without baggage" are fooling themselves. Only someone who hasn't lived has no baggage. The trick is finding someone who has baggage that goes with your's. Matching luggage, perhaps? The completer set? However you phrase it, it means understanding that no one reaches the age of 35, 40, 45 or more without having had experiences that have shaped personality, molded the spirit, caused some emotional flinching. You want to find someone who understands all that. Who can handle your down times without taking it as a personal affront. Who understands that certain places might be off-limits because of things past. Who knows where your delicate parts are and shields you from the harshness that comes with life sometimes.

I still think he's pretty amazing though.

It's a mad mad world

We are two flawed, fragile people who have somehow managed to find each other in the chaos of the 21st century. We've got baggage, thorns, wounds and scars. He thinks I am a strong, independent woman who doesn't take crap from anyone. He's learning that this is not always true. I think he is an amazing combination of intelligence, cynicism and Dudley Do-Right with a taste for great music. I am learning that he has his dark moments of the soul and has had his heart stomped on several times.

We've built lives, had kids, formed and lost friendships, jobs and homes. We are the sum total of all these experiences and with a few exceptions, neither of us would go back and change much of the past. When you get to this point in your life - and I refuse to call it "middle age" - you have baggage. There is no way around it. All those personal ads I see from people who want to find someone "without baggage" are fooling themselves. Only someone who hasn't lived has no baggage. The trick is finding someone who has baggage that goes with your's. Matching luggage, perhaps? The completer set? However you phrase it, it means understanding that no one reaches the age of 35, 40, 45 or more without having had experiences that have shaped personality, molded the spirit, caused some emotional flinching. You want to find someone who understands all that. Who can handle your down times without taking it as a personal affront. Who understands that certain places might be off-limits because of things past. Who knows where your delicate parts are and shields you from the harshness that comes with life sometimes.

I still think he's pretty amazing though.