Reading

(no subject)

My mother desperately wants grandchildren. I’m nearing 30 and have never wanted children; my partner feels the same way. We would both rather focus on our careers, and there are also some hereditary health conditions in our family — nothing life-threatening, but enough that we would rather not pass them on.

Despite knowing all this, my mother pressures us constantly. Every time I explain my position, she becomes distraught and insists I just don’t understand the joy a child would bring. She’s in poor physical and mental health, and these conversations quickly spiral into intense emotional distress. Any attempts at therapy have been flatly dismissed.

Now she’s saying that she’ll cut me out of her will if I don’t have a child. There’s not much money involved, but I worry that, if it comes to that, she might also cut off contact altogether. My sibling has already severed ties with my mother over her mental-health struggles. I want to keep my mother in my life, but I can’t stand the thought of this one issue dominating whatever time we have left together.

I’ve started to consider telling her I can’t have children because of fertility issues. That would be a lie, and I feel uneasy using something so many people genuinely struggle with as an excuse. Still, her fixation on grandchildren is seriously damaging our relationship. Should I lie to my mother to try to save our relationship, or keep telling the truth and watch things fall apart? — Name Withheld

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Sanders' young ladies' reader

Sanders' young ladies' reader : embracing a comprehensive course of instruction in the principles of rhetorical reading : with a choice collection of exercises in reading, both in prose and poetry, for the use of the higher female seminaries, as also, the higher classes in female schools generally by Charles W. Sanders

A selection of prose and poetry intended for elocution classes. Interesting, nowadays, chiefly for the selections choosing. With an eye to variety, the preface assures us, because they are intended for the young.

This one is, unlike the fourth and fifth readers, aimed specifically at girls. Which means a couple on the education of women and the necessity of its being for their whole lives, and not the flurry of society to win their husbands, and more female characters in the stories. It has a couple of selections that overlap with those readers.

Mood theme

I can't figure out where / how I can select a mood theme. Could somebody help me? Thank you :)

Current Mood: shocked

Ask a Manager: Two From The Same Column

Compare and Contrast.

( Employee's Husband Sent Us Revenge Porn )

( 4. Delivery person uses our lunchroom )

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Vol. 13

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Vol. 13 by Kanehito Yamada

Spoilers for the earlier volumes

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(no subject)

Dear Carolyn: A friend and colleague has been MIA at work and in our friend circle for weeks. She claims she hurt her back, is in pain and having procedures and and and… And this has her missing meetings and deadlines and happy hour and dropping all the balls. She has not told anyone exactly what happened with her back. She said she was doing some light housework when it just hurt all of a sudden, which sounds ridiculous to me and everyone else I know. We don’t know what “procedures” she has had. We don’t know when she will get back to normal. We’re not talking about an old person here; she is 43! I called her the other day and I could hear the TV on, during the workday, which she turned off or muted when she took my call.

I feel like she is lying or exaggerating to get out of work — while not taking formal leave or PTO, because we can work remotely — and she is blowing off her friends and colleagues while we pick up the slack for her at the office and make her excuses at social functions. How do I figure out what’s really going on with her, and get her to do her own work again so I don’t have to fill in for someone who is home watching TV while I’m busting my you-know-what?

— Busting My You-Know-What

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Carolyn Hax: Family disappointed in daughter for choosing science PhD over law

Dear Carolyn: My dad, uncle and grandfather are all lawyers, and I always thought I wanted to be one, too. Until I realized in college I was much more interested in science. I switched my major to microbiology and graduated with honors. Now I’m in my last year of my PhD program, but according to my dad, I’m a huge failure and a disappointment.

My younger cousin graduated from law school and joined the family law firm, and it’s all he can talk about. My mom said I shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up all those years I said I wanted to be a lawyer. They also are still complaining that my switching majors cost them extra tuition. It’s not like I pulled a deliberate bait-and-switch; I changed my mind.

When my dad asked what my plans were and I told him I’d be looking for a postdoc position, he said I was going to waste my life in academia and never make any real money.

I think most parents would be overjoyed their daughter is getting a doctorate, but mine act like I’m a dropout and a failure. There’s no way to make your parents supportive or proud of you, though, is there?

— Changed My Mind

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Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Vol. 12

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Vol. 12 by Kanehito Yamada

Spoilers ahead for the earlier volumes

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Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Vol. 11

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Vol. 11 by Kanehito Yamada

Spoilers ahead for the earlier volume.

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Current Mood: curious

Ask a Manager: Pronouns in Email Signatures

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Two letters with easy, easy answers

1. Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband “Chad” and I have a 4-year-old son, “Lane.” Recently for his birthday, my parents gifted him a set of Winnie-the-Pooh books. It’s been a tradition in my family for the last three generations for kids to read these books. But my husband won’t let my son have them.

He says doesn’t want Lane to read them because he insists that Winnie-the-Pooh is for girls. I’ve never heard anything so stupid! How can I make him understand that Pooh is a character that has been beloved by both boys and girls alike for nearly a century now?

—Much Ado About Pooh

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****

2. Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife “Carla” and I have a 3-year-old son, “Andy.” Andy became a big brother last month when we had our daughter, “Isabelle.” Andy had been reliably potty-trained for four months before Isabelle was born, but within days of bringing Isabelle home from the hospital, Andy began having accidents. Carla’s solution has been to put him back in pull-ups. I don’t think allowing him to regress like this is a wise idea. She says to let him do it for the time being if it makes him feel better. It seems to me that taking a firm approach (making him go back to using the toilet or face punishment) would be in his best interest. Who is right?

—We’re Not Going Backward

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The School Reader, Fifth Book

The School Reader, Fifth Book: Designed As A Sequel To Sanders' Fourth Reader by Charles Walton Sanders

An 1859 book presenting texts for elocution classes. Probably mostly of interest for the selections, chosen for the edification of the young as well as the elocution -- and to keep them interested. Often has several selections on the same topic. For instance, at one point, the condor. Eulogies on Thomas Jefferson and John Adams -- both, considering their common death date -- and on John Quincy Adams. Among many other topics.