kukla_red: (Default)
 In fact, I'm feeling better.

Not a huge amount better, but better than a week ago.  

The surgery went well, except for my very bad reaction to the anesthesia they gave me.  They told me I stopped breathing several times during the surgery and they had to intubate me.  It also took me a really long time - over three hours - to wake up after the procedure.  I don't know what they gave me, but it was strong stuff.  

I feel like I was mugged in an alleyway and knifed repeatedly in the abdomen, which is also what I look like.  I have several (4? 5?) wounds across my abdomen which are stitched up with something resembling fishing nylon.  Very pokey and annoying.  I have bruises all over the place - some from the 2 IV runs, some from places they took blood (I bruise easily and quite dramatically), and some whose source is a complete mystery.  All of them are lovely shades of dark purple, on their way to green and yellow before they disappear.  As I said, I look like I was mugged.  The stitches are coming out on Thursday.  I'm looking forward to that.

I don't hurt as much, which is good.  I just tried to put jeans on and that was a no go.  My body is not ready for that at all.  It hurt way too much.  I haven't been doing very much since I came home from the hospital last Wednesday afternoon.  This is the first time I have sat at my desk and used my pc.  Mostly it's been lots of napping, TV time, and hanging out with my kids.  They have been very worried about me during this whole thing and I have had to do a lot of reassuring.  Each of them took a day off work to stay with me and take care of my every need.  They are pampering me.  It's nice.  Aaron has had a really hard time of things.  The night I left for Amsterdam his girlfriend broke up with him.  Nice timing.  He's very upset - he really thought she was the one.  And she is handling things like the drama queen she is, so it is making things worse.  Add to that my being away for a week and then the surgery and he's had a bad time.  I hope he can relax a bit this weekend.  

I'm going to attempt to go back to work tomorrow.  I feel like I'm getting pressure from work and that I need to show them I have not disappeared or died.  I'll see how it goes.  As long as I can work in my comfy sweat pants, I can deal.

I won't know the pathology report results until next Wednesday when I see the oncologist.  Of course, I am very worried about what the results will show, but I'm trying not to obsess about it because that way lies madness.  I have to focus on positive things.  

Right now, I'm positive I am going to go lay down and give my abdomen a rest.  It's done enough for today.

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June 2017

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