This has been weighing heavily on my mind and I figure it is best if I let it out here, in private. Sort of.
I have to go for a bunch of tests this month and it is freaking me out a little. Since I was 9 years old doctors have been getting into a flurry of excitement whenever they heard my heart beat. Evidently, there is something weird about it. I ain't got no rhythm. I've had a bunch of procedures and things over the years, never amounting to anything conclusive. I've heard diagnoses ranging from a heart murmur to sub-aortic stenosis to mitral valve prolapse. At this point, I have no idea what - if anything - is going on in there. However, the last time I went for a regular check up with my family doctor he got a frowny face on when he listened to my heart and muttered something about possibly hearing a "gallop".
So he packed me off to see a cardiologist and they have now set me up with a series of tests: regular echo cardiogram, stress echo cardiogram and a carotid artery scan. I've never had that last one before. I might also have to get a transesophageal
echo because the doctor said that he might not get a good enough reading since I am a "person of size". Yeah, well... I've been living with this chest for a long time. I deal with it.
But all of this is fine. It's tests on me and that's OK. What is really worrying me is that Sarah is scheduled for pretty much all the same tests except the carotid scan. But she does have to wear a cardiac event monitor for a month.
3 years ago last April 1st (great day for it) she had a procedure called an ablation that burned out 2 small pieces of her heart. You are born with one electrical pathway through your heart to carry the pulse that keeps you alive. Sarah was born with 3. This was causing a situation called Wolff - Parkinson - White syndrome
which made her heart rate go off the chart occasionally. The ablation was supposed to fix this and make her all better and for about 2 years it seemed to work. But in the past 9 months or so she's been having the symptoms again - racing heart that feels like it is going to explode out of her chest, slight dizziness, discomfort. Not hugely debilitating, but enough that it is getting noticeable. And I'm a mom. We worry.
Since the symptoms are so random and there doesn't seem to be a way of triggering them, she has to wear the heart monitor for a solid month in the hope that she will have an episode or 2 that the device can record.
I confess. I am a nervous wreck about this. I want her to be fine, perfect, more than fine. I want the doctor to chuckle and say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her. That's what I want.
So once again, we will be getting the family discount at a medical specialist office while we go through these tests. And I will continue to worry. Cause that's what moms do best.