quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
Xanax, alcohol, other pills caused her to become unable to walk. After she began to throw up and choking on it, falling to the floor. I called 911 when she could not talk.


She broke her sobriety by drinking Rum I had, no more alcohol in the house.


All because she did not want to cut.


I am not okay, I am at a loss.

The Big Move Project Begins

Jul. 26th, 2017 08:45 am
redsixwing: Magikarp used Splash! meme with gold and orange 'karp and Great Wave off Kanagawa (splash)
[personal profile] redsixwing posting in [community profile] unclutter
So, I may have signed myself up to review every item in the house.

We're preparing for a major move and significantly smaller living space, so in a way, Everything Must Go, and in a way, we'll want to take very specific items along. I'm using my favorite Thing A Day method - if I can do one thing a day, no matter how small, I'll get an awful lot done!

My deadline isn't until next spring, and it's not set in stone yet, so right now I'm getting my checklists in order and my expectations set. It helps that my spouse, Star, has been wanting to get some stuff out of the house anyway. We decided just to go whole hog - anything that seems like it ought to go, goes, and we don't have to wait for the deadline to get things out of the house.

Monday, we sat down and figured out where several large items ought to go. (Family members and friends, mostly. And if they don't want them, to donation.)

Yesterday, I listed several collectors' items for price checks and got a nibble from an interested buyer.

Today, I need to get photos and get a sales thread up. I'll be adding to it as I go - I tend to be a thing collector, so I have a lot of things to get rid of.

Wednesday Reading

Jul. 26th, 2017 09:27 am
oracne: turtle (Default)
[personal profile] oracne
I did a fair amount of reading over the weekend, and early this week.

Court of Fives by Kate Elliott was too nerve-wracking and painful for me to read right now; I finished it, but the sequels will definitely have to wait. The race and class issues were very well-depicted, I thought, and the suspense was excellent. I am just too stressed about the world to handle this sort of thing in fiction right now.

The Furthest Station by Ben Aaronovitch was, alas, much shorter than I had hoped. Abigail was so great! I want all the Abigail stories!!!

I was happily surprised that Apprentice in Death by J.D. Robb, 43rd in the series, was much better than several of the previous volumes. There were a lot of twists and barriers to solving the mystery, capturing the perpetrators, and bringing them to justice, and remarkably little checking in with the huge recurring cast, which can become tedious. I read this partly because mysteries are comforting (justice wins!) and partly for purposes of analysis. I need to write down notes on its structure and character types and things like that.

Mid-week uncluttering

Jul. 26th, 2017 09:15 pm
fred_mouse: drawing of mouse settling in for the night in a tin, with a bandana for a blanket (cleaning)
[personal profile] fred_mouse posting in [community profile] unclutter
How has everyone's uncluttering been going this week?

As previously advertised, I took the box (and some other bits and pieces) out of the front hall, and donated it. Not quite as virtuous as I might have been, because I took it to the op-shop that has the really good second-hand book section (bigger than the whole area of some op-shops) and came home with 11 new books (at least two are ones I already have, which are for a friend who I know was looking for this hard-to-find, probably out of print author).

As to yesterday and today, I can't actually point at anything. I've been doing *something* because the house is much tidier than it was (oh, and I cleared some of the things out of the fridge), but nothing that feels like having picked things to rehome. I do keep looking at a shelf in the lounge, but there is too much on it that I'd have to find homes for at present. But, oh, it would be nice to have that bit of wall back.
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
Wild, strong, damn near burning cutting urges that lasted all day - 0.

Teressa ending the day with clear skin - 1.

Set, game, match, bitches.
alchemia: (Default)
[personal profile] alchemia

A less ranty (or so I've tried) and more simple notification from my last post... that can be  C&P / Link to this / whatever....

Over the years many fen have had reasons to remove their fanwork from online, or to dissociate their identities from that work.... maybe they are embarassed by their old work, maybe the law in their country (or one they moved to) considers some of their work (eg: chan) to be illegal and they fear for an Ex finding it out and using it to have their children or job or even freedom taken away, maybe they want to file off the serial numbers to turn it into pro-fic...

Pre-AO3 (and even after AO3) many fen had their own websites, and/or used small fandom or pairing specific ones, and they may have protected the site  from being archived into, for example, 'the Way Back Machine' (Archive.Org) by having a simple Robotos.txt excluding them.   Recently, Archive.org (and I have since learned several other 'archive' sites such as Archive.is and Webcite) have decided to ignore these Robotos.txts.    I  was horrified to find that tens of thousands of pages from several domains I own were suddenly public on these websites.... not just all our fanfics in entirity, but tons of personal, professional, hobby related and original-creative works. 

As for Webcite, I understand its purpose, but even forFanlore, there is NO REASON to use Webcite to archive EVERYSINGLE STORY on our website (probably as many words or more than all of HP series canon itself) just to provide a refrence that it exists - so if the archival sites have violated your robots.txts / TOS, better check that no one has misused Webcite, Arhcive.org. Archive,is, etc to copy all the work you may have had reason to take down or remove old versions that  had your name on them.  Fortunately, Webcite recognises archival of an entire cite and of certain types of creative or personal work doesn't belong in their archive and you can request it to be taken down if someone has misused their service as a way to keep copies of all their fav fanworks against the creators' wishes.

Please Alert your friends/reading list about this insensitive and illegal violation of personal space/wishes and legal copyright, so that if they took their work down, and wanted it to stay down, they can take action to remove it.

 

I was expecting The Archive.Org to be backlogged and slow with this, but I am rather pleased to say that if you send a Take Down Request to them, they are not that slow.  It was just a few days before I got a reply and the reply says that all pages should be removed from the public within 24 hrs.  ALthough I am pleased this was addressed promptly, I am still pissed that they did this in the first place.... if they felt Robots.txt didn't work for archives, they should have created and agreed to follow an 'archive.txt' and then provided a transitory time (say a year) for website owners to alll find out word of mouth about this and how to impliment it..   In comments on DreamWidth, I've included a copy of my Take Down notice to Archive.Org with personal info removed, to help anyone who isn't familiar with how to fill them out.

Some of the other archive (Archive.is etc) are acting like they are above international laws, and I'm starting to look at other possible avenues to deal with it (EFF, lawyers I dunno).  If you have experience with this or similar archives that could be of help, please let me know!

 

ADDITIONALLY, anyone affected by this should be aware that FANLORE, which claims to be about, by and for fen, is disrespecting fen, by using these illegal archives on their wiki.   For example, TELANU left Snarry fandom and removed her work from online. THe Fanlore page states she removed her work from online at the very top, and then in the info box right next to it, it links to Archived links that have copied her entire site!  Demonstratingly, they don't care what her wishes were, just that they can still access her work, in entirity, without knowing if it humiliates her, endangers her/her family, or dashes hopes for turn it into profic.  There is no excuse for ignorance when the fan's wishes are spelled out and Fanlore and its editors are all well aware of it!  

In my case, I had it written, on the Splash page and on the index page of all the stories/artwork the TOS ever since Intertexius first opened in 2003 that NO MATERIAL WAS TO BE ARCHIVED ANYWHERE and that if we died or something, someone we trusted had instructions on how to either maintain the site and/or where and how to archive it- furthermore, we are easy to contact if someone really felt something deserved archival or they wanted to use it in a presentation etc (And respectful academics HAVE done so, and I almost always agree to terms we are both happy with).  It wasn't even just screen caps of the splash page or an index of the stories to show what existed on the site/dates- there were links archived copies of EVERY SINGLE PAGE- every single story in entirity, all the artwork created both by us and our fans- EVERYTHING.   Sure, some of it technically is JKR's but its mixed up with a lot of original stuff (eg: Bernice the wandering rock) and those things do belong to us and fall under OUR copyright.  For all their own faults, as an editor on wikipedia since practically forever, I have to say that overall, people on wikipedia have treated me better than those on Fanlore- for example, when I myself uploaded my own original photos for use in an article, the other editors working on that article double checked with me that I understood and was OK with the GNU/CC terms given that my website prohibitted copying/archival, instead of just, YAY STUFF, *TAKE IT* and then goes to my website and takes the rest of it without permission, because, why not.  In comparison, Fanlore just strikes me as a hungry monster that doesn't care who/what it sucks in and hurts; it is just out to grow and profit at our expense/safety.

The burden of staying SAFE should not be dumped on the Fen's shoulders!   Fanlore's very description of purpose and ethics claim that they understand the sensitive nature of fen's ID and connection of that with their work.   Fanlore should be PRO-ACTIVELY following as default, a policy that RESPECTS the fen their wiki is about...  DO NOT LINK TO ARCHIVES THAT IGNORE ROBOTS.TXTs!  DO NOT ARCHIVE MATERIAL IF THE SITE HAS A 'DO NOT ARCHIVE' TERMS OF SERVICE. ... In otherwords, don't break the law, do not endanger fen, respect the people your wiki is built on!  And don't lock/block people/pages for simply taking care of their safety first by removing those links and telling them to go dig through the site's verbose FAQs and info pages to try to figure out who to talk to, and worry about how long it will take to get the endangering material removed!

If you took your work down and find it is now public in Archive.org, archive.is, webcite etc, check Fanlore as well.   Remove any links that are to illegal copies, on the 'talk' page explain your purpose for doing so and that you are sending Take Down notices to those locations.  Sadly, as was I, you may find yourself and/or your pages blocked/locked and being told to go talk to staff like this is some kind of petty text-edit war (Yes, my protecting my copyright and personal safety was labelled by Fanlore as a petty 'Counter-productive edit war....' Even IGNORING this issue of respecting rights and safety, all I did was remove links that would, due to my Take Down Notices be dead within hours-IRONICALLY had I removed the links as soon as they rotted, it would simply be seen as 'clean up', but because I explained on the talk page that this was violating our rights/safety, It was used to attack me instead.)

I don't have the spoons for figuring out who at Fanlore to direct the issue to atm, and given the way people there with the powers to lock/block/etc treated me, I have NO TRUST and NO FAITH in an organisation that treats the people they are profitting off of as shit.   What with my health, bugland's health, my grandmother's health, issues with the county violating ADA law, and now, dealing with a bunch of "we don't need to follow the law" Archives and Fanlore taking advantage of that....  I really hate to think of the stress someone would be under if desperately trying to hide the chan they thought they took offline, and is now publically archived and made easy to find via fanlore, for fear of an Ex using it to take their kids away.

If others try to deal with them, I'd be interested to know what if anything worked, who you had to contact, how you had to phrase things to get yourself protected, and/or if they came to their senses and changed their policies to respect fen and their needs.     I hope to see change, but I'm not going to hold my breath. 


 


 

FedEx: A Dramatic Tale

Jul. 25th, 2017 06:38 pm
settiai: (Blue Beetle/Booster Gold -- dreadable)
[personal profile] settiai
As I've mentioned in the past, I tend to have trouble whenever I pay FedEx extra for an evening delivery (between 5-8pm). Unfortunately, if I order anything that needs a signature, that's my only option as I'm not home to sign for packages earlier than 5pm. So requesting evening delivery is the only way for me to actually get what I order, since they won't deliver after 5pm unless you pay extra.

Cut to the last week of June. I ordered two packages that were scheduled to be delivered on Thursday, and I paid for evening delivery. As has happened several times in the past, the packages never showed up as being on the truck to be delivered. So around 7pm or so I called customer service and started a paper trail, as well as started livetweeting the whole story on Twitter.

FedEx managed to get in touch with the local facility, who told them the package was out for delivery. The driver just hadn't scanned it when he left. ("Uh-huh," I told the poor customer service rep with more than a little skepticism.) This gets a bit long, but it's honestly a rather amusing story. In retrospect, at least. It wasn't so amusing at the time. )

... and that's why I will never again order from any company that only offers FedEx as a shipping option.
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
Lupus and sunlight literally drains the life out of me. (Creation of melanoma = dead cells for my body to shove into the garbage can).

So I guess after all those years of being a teenager and playing Vampire: The Masquerade (Alkie Malkie, anyone?), dressing like a vampire, and wishing to be a vampire have finally come true.

And let's not forget the anemia, which equals a paleness that any vampire would be proud of.

Stupid, ridiculous, teenage Teressa.

(Said after a brief, 20 minute run in the very hot, very sunny outside to procure cigarettes. Do vampires even smoke cigarettes?)

Music I Dislike

Jul. 25th, 2017 08:59 am
oracne: turtle (Default)
[personal profile] oracne
I was thinking this morning about the very few music groups I don't like, and why I don't like them. This was prompted by a song coming on the radio and me turning it off.

1. Steely Dan. I know, I know, Bard College. But the main singer's voice irritates the crap out of me. It's so...whiny. It feels like it is scraping every nerve. The twangy stuff in the background exacerbates the effect.

2. Elvis Costello. His voice is so-so to me, but also, an ex-boyfriend loved his stuff.

3. Florence and the Machine. I should like this band, but all their songs sound too similar to me, and there's not enough change within the songs, either with the style or within the singer's voice. Maybe if it was more Metal? Because I am okay with the repetitive nature of a lot of Metal, and Industrial. Regardless, the singer's voice always sounds a bit strained to me as well, so I guess there's subconscious discomfort with that.

4. Frank Sinatra. I have never liked his voice. I have no idea why. He gives me the creeps like knowing some man is following you down a dark street.

5. Kenny G. No, no, no. *cries*

What about ya'll?

(no subject)

Jul. 25th, 2017 08:21 am
yukonsally: (Default)
[personal profile] yukonsally posting in [community profile] unclutter
Can we talk hobbies?

I recently gave up on the idea that I would ever make jewelry again and gave away nearly all of my beads. I donated the box and found a smaller box for the repair tools. The beads I kept are intended for adding to knitting projects.

Oh, knitting.

That large collection of yarn, patterns, supplies.

I decided to do something. I've long been on a "yarn diet" in which I do not buy new yarn. I do not go into the yarn store. I do not look at yarn online. I have accepted yarn from a friend when she moved--she has good stuff. But mostly, I am using up what I have.

I gave away some yarn I'll just never use. I went through patterns and got rid of the ones I'll never make. I gave away the stitch markers I don't like. I gave away knitting baubles I didn't want in the first place. And I am using up scraps in projects. My knitting things are more under control. I did buy some yarn that I've used immediately in some scrap projects. Now I am creating a stash of knitted things for gifts, or for charity auctions, or local charities, or whatever strikes me. I am making those projects I've had prepped for quite some time and I am taking apart projects I stopped working on to regain control of the needles, beads, and yarn. I will have to start over using some yarn. And that's okay. I keep it in check now.
alchemia: (Default)
[personal profile] alchemia

ETA: I made a nother post that you can link to; please do as you may have people on your Friends/reading list whose safety, wishes, legal rights may have been violated and it includes info on some of what they can do about it.  http://alchemia.dreamwidth.org/304207.html


 

I've just lost almost all respect for Fanlore and the WayBackMachine.  Especially Fanlore-    they at least should have the common sense to know that fen who work with certain subjects or live in certain countries, have personal safety issues that should come before a 'must archive everything just in case link rot, so we can grow our website, is the most important thing before the safety/wishes/rights of the people our site is about'  Talk about being exploitive!

And other so-called archival sites that consider themselves not just above robots.txt, but ignore copyright law and TakeDown notices- words cannot express what I wish upon their creators, and the people that use them to violate the wishes and legal rights of other people.

I am absolutely exhausted at the moment because the fucking 'war on drugs' caused our dr to have to, understandably, to not loose their license, have a 3 day wait period between when we are are used to picking up our fentynal, and when we actually COULD pick it up this time.  So we spent 3 agonising days in cold turkey withdrawal from 100mcg/48hr.  I got clonidine to help with the worst of it, but it made it so I couldn't even stand up without passing out so I had to crawl everywhere.   When we finally got our meds, I ended up in withdrawal from the clonodine- which basically meant that I couldn't fucking sleep for almost a whole week straight.  

So you want to know more about my hate for Fanlore and Archive.Org, you can read the genesis of my thoughts here:

https://cathexys.dreamwidth.org/508696.html?thread=13464088#cmt13464088

Link direct to my reply.  Yes I also am concerned about 'link rot'.  On sites where link rot is an actual issue (eg due to the LJ migrations with all the meta over thre) but FFS, link rot doesn't take precedent over that of the safety/prefrences of the fen.  Maybe some of them would even have locked those pages but lost access to the accounts, or left fandom and have no clue what they thought would stay on LJ is suddenly getting archived to a dozen different places that they would not want.  I outline one possible solution to respect fen identitiy while preserving pages.  

http://aethel.dreamwidth.org/362363.html
(my comment about 4 or 5 down) Disgust with Archive.Org (wayback machine) to after all these years, just BAM stop respecting robots.txt and make tons of stuff public.    I just had to send them Take Down Notices forTENS OF THOUSANDS of pages/images (mostly personal, hobby and business sites; only intertexius is fannish)

Ending finally with this:

http://fanlore.org/wiki/Talk:A_Bittersweet_Potion

(I removed only the archived links for Intertexius , no others, as its up to LJ etc if they will permit archival of public pages.   But it does make me think I'll be using the 'lock' feature a lot more in the future.  Might have some great discussions, and historically I've been of the mind that I welcomed public reading, but I do NOT welcome public copying to where-ever without my knowledge/permission.

Read more... )

 


A fannish update...

Jul. 24th, 2017 08:15 pm
settiai: (Liara -- bleeding_muse)
[personal profile] settiai
Now that I've talked about real life a bit, I guess it's time for a bit of a fandom-related update. I'm not watching a lot of television lately, and the handful of shows that I am watching tend to be webseries rather than more traditional series. We'll see if that changes in the coming months?

I finally was able to start playing Mass Effect: Andromeda and have fallen back in love with the whole ME universe. I know a lot of people didn't like ME:A, but I really loved it. It's not my favorite game (that's still ME2), but I do think it might have moved to the #2 spot on my list. Could it have been better? Sure. But that doesn't mean I don't love it (and the characters) any less.

On a somewhat related note, I still love Dragon Age. I haven't been playing it as much lately, since ME has been taking up so much of my time, but I've gone back to working on fic. Which is a good thing, because DA is one of those rare fandoms that makes me want to write longfic. Even though I kind of suck at writing longfic and take forever to finish stories that are more than 5000 words.

I've also continued with my Critical Role obsession, to the surprise of nobody. The current storyline is slowly drawing to a close, and I'm expecting Vox Machina's tale to come to a close by the end of the year. Which makes me sad, since I love the characters. But on the other hand, a new story! With new characters! My chances of convincing people to start watching will greatly increase when they don't have 400+ hours to watch in order to get caught up.

Speaking of which, Dungeons & Dragons continues to eat a lot of my free time. I have two weekly games that I play in online via Roll20, one on Friday nights and one on Sunday nights. Then I have another Roll20 game on Saturday nights where I'm the DM. And then, because I have no sense of self-preservation, every other Sunday afternoon I walk over to the gaming store near my apartment to play in another campaign.

So, basically, every other week? I play four D&D games in a little over 48 hours. And even when I'm not cramming four games in, I'm still playing three. Which isn't much better.

Oops?

Um, let's see. What other fannish things should I talk about?

Geek and Sundry and Alpha are behind most of the webseries that I'm watching nowadays. There's Critical Role, of course, which I've already mentioned. Then there's Eric's TBD RPG, an awesome Doctor Who RPG that just recently came to an end and was replaced with Shield of Tomorrow, a Star Trek RPG. Oh, and Sagas of Sundry which is just... gods, it's hard to describe. It's creepy and amazing and I highly recommend it.

I'm not watching Vast yet (another one of their RPGs), but I've heard good things about it. It's definitely on my list, whenever I have free time again. (I also watch The Wednesday Club, but it's a bunch of geeks sitting around and talking about comics for two hours each week rather someone I'm particularly fannish about. It's a lot of fun if you like comics, though.)

Based on the recent Doctor Who casting news, I'm cautiously optimistic that I might be able to start watching regularly again. I managed to watch some of the episodes from this most recent series but not all of them. Still, the ones that I was able to watch reminded me just how much I miss this show. I really hope that, once Moffat is gone, it will feel more like Doctor Who to me again.

The upcoming fourth and final season of Star Wars: Rebels has me both excited and terrified. I want to see what happens, but at the same time... well, it's Star Wars. I know going in that there was a good chance a lot of the characters wouldn't actually live through the show. The question is this: who and how?

I really need to start thinking about Yuletide and what fandoms I want to nominate this year, since it's coming up fast. This might be the first time in years that I haven't even started thinking about it yet, though. That will deserve its own post in a few weeks, when I try to start brainstorming.

A long overdue RL update...

Jul. 24th, 2017 07:42 pm
settiai: (Cass -- shoemoney2night)
[personal profile] settiai
So, yes, I'm still alive. Life in general has been busy lately, and the little bit of spare time I've had has been taken up by D&D and Mass Effect: Andromeda. Oops?

Work has been ridiculous lately. It's not really something that I can talk about in detail, but there's definitely quite a bit of tension between the higher ups and, well, a large percentage of the employees who aren't being paid six figures annually. Let's just say that the amount of work expected of most employees has gone up while salaries haven't (except for the higher ups, who magically were able to get raises when people making significantly less than them weren't), and I'm very worried the directors are going to find out first-hand just how screwed they are if a large number of people all turn in their notice and walk.

Mainly because I'm not in a position where I can afford to do that, no matter how much I might want to sometimes. Which means I'll also be somewhat screwed if anyone turns in their notice.

Add in the aforementioned extra work and the fact that several people have been out for health-related reasons, meaning our workload is even heavier, and... well, needless to say, it's not been fun.

Let's see... I should probably talk about the cats, huh?

Garrus and Percy are getting along surprisingly well. The first few weeks were a bit rocky, but once they got used to each other (and realized just how similar they are), things became a lot smoother. They're at the point where they're regularly grooming each other and sleeping just a few inches apart, which is a lot better than I was hoping for after less than two months.

I still miss Tali a lot, obviously, but the fact that Garrus and Percy are getting along so well is definitely helping. Percy is a doll, and I'm already at the point where I can't imagine him not being here. I just, you know, sometimes wish that I could have had all three of them, even though the realistic side of my brain knows that I never would have met him if I hadn't lost her.

VividCon is next week, which... I have complicated feelings about. Brain weasels! Aren't they fun? )

Anyway, I'm hoping that my brain weasels will go away once I'm actually in Chicago. At the moment, though, I'm not nearly as excited about the con being next week as I usually am by this point. Which makes me sad. Hopefully that will change somewhat over the next week-and-a-half?

... oh, I just realized that I never posted about my week of hell with FedEx here on Dreamwidth. I should rectify that. I want to make a separate fandom-related post first, and then I'll post the whole terrifying tale.

Rhetorical question is rhetorical

Jul. 24th, 2017 06:11 pm
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
Why do I worship Death? I have no other gods, no other patrons or symbols that have captured my love the way Death has. I have loved Death for decades, long before my actual brushes with death that left my life waiting in the span of hours, in minutes of actually meeting Death.

Why do I have shrine built to the very idea of death? Skeletons, mini-graveyards filled with actual cemetery dirt (I still have that, Cemetery!) Pictures of graveyards, cards made by friends of movies that deal with death, a locket of the Catholic patron of Death. The comic of the Crow. A rose with an actual muskrat skull buried within the petals. Jewelry of bones. An actual animal skull, in full, on display.

Are people like me born this way or are we made this way?

Why do I worship Death? And why does it comfort me?

I had a weekend!

Jul. 24th, 2017 11:32 am
oracne: turtle (Default)
[personal profile] oracne
Saturday was very hot and humid. I did laundry, stumbled home, then stumbled out again to run errands. I ran into a friend (Tom Purdom) in front of a coffee shop so we went inside and got iced drinks and talked about Dunkirk as one does, since we were both planning to see the movie.

I got cash and bought subway tokens and sweated a lot.

Then I met up with C. in late afternoon for the movie Dunkirk, which we saw in IMAX, bass and the sounds of explosions booming from under out seats. I ate popcorn for lunch while watching people get blown up and drown and burn but also get rescued. Sometimes all of the above, in different orders.

This movie was what I call a Spectacle. I liked it best when it was all stark visuals and no dialogue (the dialogue was minimal). The splendid British actors did a great deal with their faces and posture; Tom Hardy as a Spitfire pilot acted almost entirely with his eyes, as the rest of his face was covered in helmet. (Jack Lowden, playing another pilot, was out of his cockpit for more screntime.) The movie was documentary-style, where you don't know the characters' backstory or hopes or dreams (with one exception); you're in the moment throughout, and the moment keeps jumping around, and you can't always keep track of the sequence. I feel I had an experience worth having.

After, being much luckier than those poor people trapped at Dunkirk, we had dinner at a great new tapas place in South Philly called Barcelona. Cue Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Caballe!

jazzfish: "Do you know the women's movement has no sense of humor?" "No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it!" (the radical notion that women are people)
[personal profile] jazzfish posting in [community profile] poetry
from The Creation of Éa, by Ursula K. Le Guin
(from A Wizard of Earthsea)

Only in silence the word,
only in dark the light,
only in dying life:
bright the hawk's flight
on the empty sky.

weekend uncluttering

Jul. 24th, 2017 10:27 am
fred_mouse: drawing of mouse settling in for the night in a tin, with a bandana for a blanket (cleaning)
[personal profile] fred_mouse posting in [community profile] unclutter
How did everyone's weekend uncluttering go? I know I'm writing this a bit late (for me), but it is still Sunday for some of you, so I'm hoping that counts...

Saturday for me was a bit of a write off, with the first ballet class (for me) of term, and then going to an exhibition ice-hockey match in the evening, but I started a project that I'm hoping will lead to uncluttering the yarn stash -- I'm making multi coloured knit strips (30 stitches wide, 85cm long) which will be sewn together to make blankets to be donated to a local cat shelter. I'm very deliberately not thinking about colour order, or much in the way of yarn weight (I'm pretty sure most of it is 8ply, but at least one of them would have been 12 ply), and just grabbing everything out of the Basket Where Left Over Yarn Goes to Rot* that is a tiny ball of 'urgh, whatever will I do with that'. I've gone for the strips idea because the materials and tools for one strip will fit in a tiny carry bag (which I made from fabric I've been hoarding for years because I knew it was useful, but didn't have a specific task -- like soft tulle). Strip one is about 50cm, so I'm pretty happy with that!

And then I spent Sunday working on finishing existing craft projects, so that at least I can get those out of the work space, and know what is 'left overs'.

(Today, I'm going to take the big box of random Stuff from the front hall, and drop it in at an op-shop, on the way to do the school pickup. Not quite in the right direction, which is why I've managed to put so much Stuff in it).



* Sadly, not quite hyperbole -- one ball had weaknesses where it split about every 30cm, so in the end it was just pulled to pieces and shoved in the 'stuffing' jar.

Private blisses

Jul. 23rd, 2017 08:42 pm
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
The night ends in a private bliss. A hot bath, meds to let the hot water sink into every pore, and music as haunting and beautiful as what shivers down the darkest hallways of my soul.

It's exhilarating, cathartic - to have it just be you, the water rising, and alone as this apartment gets. (One closing door in the entire place - and that place is the bathroom.)

Jesse gets worried. He'll check on me, I assume to make sure I'm not painting the walls red with my blood or else have fallen asleep in the tub. (Though I do love to lay in the tub once the water has been drained, cooling off on the still warm but not concrete cold porcelain.)

Sometimes that's all I need to chase the demons away. Be alone, be in hot water that soothes like softly felt fire, and to hear what speaks to the sorrow.

I can sleep with some sort of peace now. And at the end of the day, that's truly all I want.

Tracking the swings

Jul. 23rd, 2017 01:07 pm
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
Mood hit a wild downswing, for the reasons that they do, most famous being why the hell not? It's not depression. That's easy to recognize. It's not sadness. That's also easy to name. It's something more chaotic than that. Something that I'm not sure how it's going to manifest.

Predictability is not a virtue, nor a thing I put any faith inside.

Gonna try to sleep it out. May or may not work.

Sleepless nights at the black and white keys
I'll let my fingers say it for me.

Sometimes I swear the lyrics words write me
The words write me.

The melody a remedy to calm me down
You never did approve of the fix I found.

You can bury my body in the backyard,
When you're not looking I'll go dig myself up!
" Icon for Hire "Rock N Roll Thugs"

Buried halfway underground due to the tricksters in my head. And if I shall have enough dirt thrown at my head to bury me completely, I will try to dig myself out. I will try.

That's all anyone can ask of me, whether or not I manage actually to crawl out of the grave covered in dirt or covered in blood.

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